Small Ways To Tend To Your Nervous System While We Live Through Something That Shouldn’t Be Happening

Small Ways To Tend To Your Nervous System While We Live Through Something That Shouldn’t Be Happening

Feeling dysregulated right now is normal. We are currently living through collective trauma and we are not reading about something once in the newspaper or hearing about it over the morning news, we are seeing it replayed many times every time we open up our phones. And those replays are sandwiched between videos of someone making the perfect sourdough bread and Trader Joe’s grocery hauls. This should feel dysregulating.

Accepting that dysregulation is a normal response to what is happening doesn’t mean we can’t take small steps to tend to our nervous systems.

If you are looking for small ways to support your nervous system here are some strategies to try:

1. Put your feet on the floor and name where you are. The goal isn’t to necessarily feel calm, but to remind your body you’re here, right now. This can be a tool you use after scrolling, getting home from a protest, watching the news, talking about what is happening with a friend, or really any time you are feeling anxious about things that are out of your control.
2. Lower the volume of the news without turning it off completely. This could be literally turning the volume down or setting intentional time limits for when you will consume news or doom scrolling. Having timers for when you are going to log into social media can help bring you back out of it. Staying informed doesn’t require you to stay flooded.
3. Let your body physically discharge stress. Deep breathing is great, but sometimes our bodies don’t need stillness, it needs movement. Go for a walk, ‘shake it off,’ dance to your favorite playlist, stretch out your neck, or slam a pillow. This can help your body complete the stress response it is experiencing from seeing violence or reading about harmful changes in politics.
4. Name the feeling instead of trying to manage it. Instead of naming what you are feeling so that you can go into detective mode and solve how to get rid of it we are just naming it. Labeling it to help your system organize what it is carrying. “This is fear. This is anger.”
5. Choose one predictable ritual a day. Same mug, Same song. Same route. Same candle. Having something predictable helps build safety when the world feels so unpredictable.
6. Take action, even if it feels small. It is easy to feel like doing something “small” isn’t enough, but that worry can keep you feeling stuck. Remind yourself of a small action someone did for you that really mattered to help your brain gather evidence and then pick on small action you can take. Taking action helps give you some control when there are so many things that are out of our control. Some ideas are: call your reps, donate $5, check in on a friend, volunteer to bring snacks to your local grassroots groups doing the work, share a post that you found helpful, validate someone else’s feelings.
7. Sit with someone who doesn’t need you to explain why this is scary. Sitting with someone that you don’t have to explain your feelings to signals to your brain and body that you are in a safe space. This can be co-regulating for both of you. Sharing that with someone not only helps you feel safer in your feelings, but it can feel good to know you are doing the same for someone else. This is why community and connection are so helpful during difficult times.
8. Give your nervous system a break from performing ‘fine.’ In some spaces this may not be safe, but in the spaces where it is, take the mask off. Intentionally remind yourself that the people you have chosen to have in your life are open to sharing the difficult stuff with you. You don’t have to be composed and articulated to deserve their love and care.
9. Say “this makes sense” instead of asking what’s wrong with you. No, you ‘shouldn’t be able to handle it.’ Anxiety, overwhelm, and fear in response to what is happening isn’t pathology, it’s information. Your brain and body are trying to keep you alert to protect you, which makes perfect sense. You aren’t broken or doing something wrong if your normal “coping tools” aren’t making these feelings go away.

The goal of these tools isn’t to take away the discomfort you may be experiencing right now. The goal is to help you move through it with a bit more ease. If you aren’t currently doing any of these things the best approach to implementing new tools is often to choose one or two and think about what it would look like to implement them throughout the day or week. And then practice.

Every tool takes practice. You may forget about it at times and it may feel hard to do at times, but the more you reflect and try again, the easier it will become.